JV'S KILLER POKER:
ANAGRAM MADNESS

BY: John Vorhaus

It's time once again to crank up the ol' anagram generator and see what pearls of poker wisdom are hidden in the finest players' names.

To make an anagram, as you no doubt know (wood nut knob), just rescramble (cram rebels) the letters of a name, creating, for example Josh van Hour out of John Vorhaus or ill pork reek from Killer Poker. The fun and value of the game lies not in generating the anagram (hell, any half-intelligent computer can do that) but in divining meaning from the results like reading tea leaves or rune stones. Consider, for instance, that an anagram for Men "the Master" Nguyen is trey seen, then magnum; is it not true that a gutsy call can lead to a champagne celebration? So let's look at some other big guns of today's tournament scene. Who knows what hidden wisdom lurks locked within their names?

Amir Vahedi = Ah! I'm varied. Mix up your play.

Chip Jett = Jet pitch. Play fast or don't play.

Erik Seidel = Seek ire lid. Never tilt, no matter how bad the beat.

Mark Seif = Risk? Fame! No guts, no glory.

Daniel Negreanu = Endure Angelina. Romance and poker don't mix?!?

Scotty Nguyen = Snouty cygnet. Well, a cygnet is a young swan, so I guess you could say it pays to be bold, even if yet untested.

Kathy Liebert = Bleak trey hit. Hey, even the best players get unlucky.

Chris Ferguson = Grins crush foe. A little deception never hurt anyone. The best offense is often a good pretense.

Howard Lederer = Dawdle, hero? Err! Strike while the iron is hot! When you get the goods, bet the goods. It often doesn't pay to get too cute.

Chris Karagulleyan = Angrily crush a leak! Tolerate no holes in your game.

Layne Flack = Lance Flaky. Image isn't everything -- it's the only thing.

Barry Shulman = Blurry shaman. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

Phil Hellmuth = P.L.? Tell him, "Huh?" Stay away from unfamiliar betting structures against unknown opponents.

Chris Moneymaker = Machinery smoker. Sometimes the little guy sneaks in and changes everything.

Annie Duke = I nuke a Ned. Beat the players you're supposed to beat.

Dan Harrington = Grant Ironhand. Through image, strong play or even a buff nickname, it doesn't hurt to have people fear you.

Huck Seed = Used "heck." Watch your language. You don't want to get those 20-minute time-outs.

Ted Forrest = Desert fort! Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. If you're beat, retreat.

John Juanda = Hanjan judo. Poker is a mental martial art. Always be using new methods -- even if you have to make them up.

David Levi = Avid devil. Commitment must be 100%. Nothing less gets the job done.

Diego Cordovez = V.C.R. ego oozed id. Play to play well, not to be famous. Save your ego for the award ceremony.

Vince Burgio = Voice big run. When you're on a rush, make sure everyone knows about it. Players fear lucky players.

Randy Holland = Any droll hand. Can you win without cards? It's a skill the best players have.

Alan Goehring = Hearing along. Pay attention! And don't just watch, listen. Sometimes what they say -- or don't say -- speaks volumes about the strength of their hand.

David Ulliott = Vault? Did toil. Nothing comes from nothing. If you want success, you have to work hard.

Chris Bjorin = Rich jobs 'r' in! They say that playing poker is a hard way to make an easy living. I suppose that's true, but still... At some point you have to ask yourself why are you living this life? Why are you making the choices you make? Maybe you'll never be among the pantheon of poker stars. Maybe your name will never earn enough fame to make it anagram-worthy. But if you feel that poker is your destiny, I say go ahead and take your shot. John Maynard Keynes's dying words were, "I wish I'd drunk more champagne." Life is hard enough without throwing regret into the mix. Go for it!

(John Vorhaus is author of the KILLER POKER series and News Ambassador for UltimateBet.com.)