Pride and Prejudice

Boy, were you in for a special treat today. I spent long hours writing and rewriting this fantastic article. Then I threw it away. Actually I hit the delete button but you know what I mean. While I was writing this fantastic poker article I had this lingering feeling of dread floating around in the back of my mind that repeatedly tapped me on the shoulder. I ignored it and got deeper into the article but it found me again; this time it knocked me upside the head. So, of course, I did what anyone of you would do, I ignored it again and buried myself even deeper in the article. I almost finished. There I was, spell checking my masterpiece and the feeling grabbed my by the throat, lifted me off the ground and said in a not entirely gentle voice, "You know what you need to write about. My suggestion is you do so." So that's how this article came into being - by gentle persuasion.

It's been my experience in life that if I'm given two choices, both of which are sound, the one that I don't want to do - is usually the choice I should make. Usually, the reasons I'm inclined to reject the otherwise sound idea is based on something unsavory such as fear, pride or ego. If I decide to face those, I invariably become more of the person I want to be. That person tends to be more confident, more skilled and competent as well as happier. Great you ask, but what does this have to do with poker?

I'm getting ahead of myself a little bit so let's go back a bit.

I've become increasingly interested in tournament poker over the last couple of years. Strictly a live game player for many years, it was hard not to realize that the only thing growing faster than the sizable payouts in tournaments was the amount of dead money. I tried my hand in some of the smaller daily tournaments at first but the 15 minute rounds weren't to my liking and turned the event into little more than the proverbial crapshoot. Next I tried the $100 and $200 tournaments and while I didn't fare too badly, the rounds were still too short for my tastes at 30 minutes. I realized that I was going to have to move up if I wanted to minimize the short term luck inherent in these smaller tournaments but I had an aversion to dropping $1000 or more to enter an event being a tournament neophyte. So what to do?

I decided that I needed experience - or training - or both if I was going to start coughing up large entry fees. I had read the books certainly, but somehow reading what people like TJ Cloutier and Doyle had to say about how they win tournaments didn't make me feel prepared to sit across from them and butt heads. I mean, they could have left something out right? Lessons can get expensive at the table. And then I had a brainstorm. I had always regretted not dealing the World Series of Poker back before I had hung up my black and whites; what if I dealt it? I could sit and watch the best in the world and see how they played firsthand. I was instantly sold on the idea and set off for Binions immediately.

I was hired and it worked out better than I could have hoped. I dealt the final tables of events #6 - #34 and dealt down to the final table of the championship event. I cannot express to you how much I learned about tournament poker over the six weeks of the World Series as well as coming away with a great set of memories. Equipped with this six week education I went back to work, mostly live action but I began to pick my spots in tournaments too. I played three tournaments over this last year with buy-ins of $1000 or more and made the money in all three; making the final table twice.

As is often the case when one is learning, you fill your head with knowledge until you think you've learned all you can - you go out into the world and try to apply it - and then realize there is so much more to learn. That's where I find myself in regards to tournament poker. I was determined that I would keep reading, studying and asking questions. Although I took a headfull of knowledge away from my experiences at the WSOP, I realized that I missed a lot too and was none too gentle on myself for opportunities missed. Then I ran into Matt Savage, WSOP tournament director.

Matt asked me if I would like to deal this years WSOP. I think my exact words were, "Not a chance." Working for someone else was never my forte and while Matt was a great guy to work for, I enjoy the freedom and pride that playing poker gives me. Later that day, I ran into Warren Karp, who asked me the same thing. A few hours later I ran into last years dealer coordinator who, you guessed it, asked me the same thing. About this time I was beginning to wonder if the Universe was trying to tell me something. I had an answer for the Universe too; it was no.

Later that evening, in bed, I considered the ridiculousness of the idea. I don't need the money, I'm doing fine at the tables - heck, I don't even like dealing! I was trying to talk myself out of it, clearly - but why? There was something else but I couldn't figure it out and eventually drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I knew what it was.

Last year, I found myself being snubbed by a few people who I had always been friendly to me at the tables. One of them, a member of the WSOP's million dollar club (over one million in career WSOP winnings), I had played a number of heads up matches with. I approached him before a tournament to say hello; he ignored me. I assumed he didn't hear me and so I repeated my greeting. He looked at me with as much disdain as I have ever seen and replied, "Why are you talking to me," and added as if it were a disease, "dealer?" I was stunned. Yes, I know it was about him, but truth be told, I felt humiliated too.

That was it. In his eye's, I couldn't cut it as a professional player and I had to get in the box. I almost let someone else's opinion about me interfere with my continuing education as a poker player this year. I want to learn all I can about this game. I want to learn more than I don't want to work for someone else. I want to learn more than I don't want to deal. And I certainly want to keep learning more than I'm going to care about what some shortsighted player thinks about me. But I almost didn't; for all the wrong reasons.

So if you're at the WSOP this year - look for me and come say hi. I'll be in the box and I'll be learning.

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